Emosanal Atyachar

Posted September 7, 2013 by deshvaasi
Categories: Uncategorized

If a part of my body sticks out into outer space, what happens?

It says here that Mandela went to prison in 1964 and came out in 1990.  How long was he in prison?

Hmm, 30 years

Are you guessing?

Yes.

You should be embarrassed, didn’t they teach you subtraction yet?

Oh, subtraction’a, why didn’t you say so? Then, it is … 26 years. Wow! I can’t believe anyone would want to be in prison for 26 years.

Well, they don’t usually have a choice.

Must be boring, no computer, no TV, no books.

They may give you books.

But, they will be classics, like Little Women or something.

What’s wrong with Little Women? It’s one of Amma’s favourites.

Aw, Puke, Puke!

One -hundred-and-sixty-five, one-hundred-and-sixty-six, one-hundred-and-sixty-seven.  Appa!  I counted them, we have one hundred and sixty seven paper clips.

But you started from one-hundred-and-one.

Yes, Appa, I started from one-hundred-and-one and finished at one-hundred-and-sixty-seven, so I have one hundred and sixty seven clips

If you started from one-hundred-and-one, you have only sixty seven clips.

I don’t care, Appa, I have ONE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-SEVEN PAPER CLIPS!

Illaima, you should start counting from 1, then …

I don’t care of it.  Why should I always listen to you?  You are always right only, no?

Yo, what’s the hurry?  Why grow up so fast? You were this little bundle just a while back and now, you are already up to my chest.

Appa, I am eating all my vegetables.  You only said, no? if I eat my vegetables, I will grow fast.  Do you want me to stop eating my vegetables?

Hmm, maybe you should feed you a little less.  Before we know it, you are going to be in college, and you will leave me and Amma to sit in an empty house

Appa, …

What will we do then?

Appa, don’t worry, by then you will be really old and die.

Appa, see what I drew.  And I spelled them too. S-U-N, … F-L-A-G, … D-O-N-U-T

That’s great’ma.  Cool drawings, what’s that? Sprinkles on the doughnut also’aa? Really beautiful!

Aaama’pa, there is also jam on the donut, so I can get my fruit.

Hmm.  You have spelled sun and flag correctly.

Also donut.

Actually, doughnut is ‘D-O-U-G-H-N-U-T’.  Not, ‘D-O-N-U-T’.

Gee’aa? There’s no Gee-guh-God  or Hetch-huh-hat in donut.  Your spelling is not correct.

Yes, there is no Gee-guh-God or Aitch-huh-hat in doughnut, but they are silent.

Are you saying that those people  in Africa are wrong?

Which people?

The ones in Africa that made the donut.

Uh?

Are you saying that people in Africa don’t make donuts?

No’ma, I didn’t say anything like that, I was just thinking …

Why? People in Africa also like donuts. I am just going to erase all these pictures, you don’t like them, no?

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Hindustani Concerts in Chennai

Posted June 26, 2013 by deshvaasi
Categories: chennai, Hindustani Music, IITM

Tags: , ,

In the past, a few of us have informally discussed the creation of an organization to bring more Hindustani music concerts to Chennai. We have begun working on this idea in earnest now and come up with following rough outlines for this organization:

  1. It will be run primarily using subscription funds paid at the beginning of the financial year, although we are not averse to small unobtrusive sponsorships. The dues will be in the neighbourhood of Rs. 5000/year and will entitle a family to attend all concerts organized during the year. We will start activities with a half-year’s subscription to take us through to March 31, 2014, and then move over to full subscription years thereafter.
  2. The number of concerts organized will depend on the number of subscribers, but at the minimum, we will need 40 subscriptions, which will enable 4 concerts per year. 
  3. Concerts will be held both inside and outside IIT Madras; the ones inside will be held during the semester so that students can attend.
  4. The organization will be registered, most likely, as a society, and its operation will be completely transparent and accounts will be audited yearly as required by law.

The purpose of this post is to get a preliminary headcount, so please fill in this form to let us know that you are interested. And please forward this link to others who may be interested. Thanks!

Numerology

Posted March 31, 2013 by deshvaasi
Categories: Bullshit, Humour, Idiots

Tags:

We heard the other day that someone named his son ‘AAAbhishek’ because he wants him to be first in everything, including the attendance register.

This is a dangerous precedent, no?  Opens the door to complete chaos.  Allow me to demonstrate.

I think if my son were in that kid’s class, I will legally change his name to AAAA, just to mess with this AAAbhishek’s father.

I will mess up the teachers too, because I will change only the spelling, not the pronunciation.

‘Okay, welcome to the first day of class.  Time for attendance.  What the heck?  The first guy is a battery?  Quadruple A?’

My son puts his hand up defiantly.  ‘No, ma’am, I am not a battery, although I do get that a lot.  It’s just written that way, my name is pronounced Pramath.’

‘But, …’

‘Yes, Ma’am, English is a funny language.  Surely, you know that, being our English teacher and all.’

Now, you know how competitive our schools are, no?  Very soon, the entire attendance register looks like a practice sheet for the letter A.

‘A’

‘Double A’

‘Triple A’

‘Quadruple A? What the heck kind of attendance register is this?’

‘A^5’

‘A^43’

Unfortunately, there is no option of saying anyone’s name anymore because of all the silent and hidden letters.

This numerology business is really blurring the lines between ignorance of the language and plain ignorance, no? I am not sure how some arbitrary rules ascribing arbitrary numerical values to letters dictate what happens to your life.  That is just plain ignorance, but now you have to start butchering names to make them fit your messed up scheme.

‘R-a-a-w-e-a-e? Wow, that’s a beautiful name, but I don’t think I have ever heard it before.  How do you say your name?’

‘Um, Ravi, okay?  Jerk! Never heard it before, my aaassssss!’.

And ‘shop’ has become ‘s-h-o-p-p-e-e’.  Now, what the heck is that all about? Shop-pee, come on, there has to be some limit.  Unless this is a urine bank or a urinal store where you can sample the goods, I don’t see a justification for this spelling.

One night, for whatever reason, we came across this song from Unnaipol Oruvan with Shruti Haasan and this guy B-l-a-a-z-e. After the whole Ravi thing, I thought it was numerology at work once again, and assumed that his real name is Balaji, but apparently …

… apparently, he really means it and wants to be called Blah-zay. Who woulda thunk, eh?

Anupama Bhagwat in concert with Aditya Srinivasan

Posted February 25, 2013 by deshvaasi
Categories: Uncategorized

Organizing (finally!) a concert for Anupama Bhagwat at 4 p.m. on Saturday, March 2 at Biotechology Seminar Hall on IIT Madras campus. She is now Chennai’s own, please do join us, she is simply awesome.

If you haven’t heard her before, here’s a teaser; and a map for you, if you are coming from outside.  See you on Saturday.

(Added on 14.3.13)

Concert review at http://margazhi.org/sitar-concert-by-anupama-bhagwat/

Shame, Shame, Puppy Shame

Posted November 14, 2012 by deshvaasi
Categories: Bullshit, India, Pseudo-science, Superstitions

Tags: , ,

Of late, number of pseudo-science nonsense talks on campus, aided and abetted by eminent Profs has increased.  Two samples below.  And, if this is what a premier S&T Institute of our country does, anyone still wonder why our country cannot produce any good science or technology breakthroughs?  Depressing, makes me want to scream.

—-

EML Team 2012-’13, IIT Madras
Presents

An Extra Mural Lecture
By
Dr. A.B. Sudhakara Sastry
 Chairman SRIVT
Vedic Sciences: A Treasure waiting for YOU
Wednesday, 14th November 2012 at 6 PM
IC&SR Main Auditorium
 
Vedic science, based on the Vedas (the oldest holy texts of the Hindu religion) is a great treasure of knowledge. It is a fact that works which can shed light on the ancient treasure troves of technology do not find a due place in the portals of modern mainstream academic and industrial institutions in India. It is heartening to note that during the recent years, there has been a change in this stand and there is a willingness to explore avenues for collaborative effort between the adherents to the paths of Vedic and mainstream sciences. It is only the joint endeavour of Vedic scientists and mainstream intellectuals, willing to work beyond the narrow borders of their own specializations that can help the transmission of ancient knowledge for universal benefit.
Dr. Amanchi Balasudhakara Sastry, is a prolific writer and authored several books on Astrology, Gemology, Scientific meaning totradit ions, rites and rituals, etc. Baradwaja Vymanika Sastra Pariskaram authored by Dr. Sastry is the first literary work in the series of Vedic wisdom. As the Chairman of Srimaharshi Research Institute of Vedic Technologies (SRIVT), his ambition and mission in life is to awaken and enliven the sleeping youth and pass on to them the invaluable heritage of Vedic wisdom and legacy handed down by ancient sages and Vedic gurus and mould this treasure of knowledge for the universal welfare. His work on nano copper using Vedic knowledge has been recognized recently with Indian Innovation Initiative (i3) Award for 2011 by the Department of Science & Technology,Government of India and CII among 850 entries from all over India. More about the scientific research done by SRIVT can be found here

 —

{Edit, 14/11/12: Removed reference to Dr. CS Yogananda’s talk; on second thought, this doesn’t belong in the same category as the other two}

There was another by Dr. N Gopalakrishnan in August.  His video on Youtube along with rebuttal from Nirmukta:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oPKyeJretI

Preview of coming attractions – irandam bagam

Posted June 14, 2012 by deshvaasi
Categories: Uncategorized

Appa, look. An ant-house.

Aamam, lovely. Actually, it is an ant-HILL.

Correct.  But, you can also call it an ant-house.

Illaida, kanna.  Ant-hill is the correct term.

amma and anna told me that you can also call it an ant-house.

I see.

Sometimes you can say ant-hills.  Sometimes you can say ant-houses.

I see.

Do you know?  The ant-house is full of antelopes. They are always running here and there carrying food.

You mean, ants?

You can also call them antelopes.

Illai’ma, antelopes are like deer.  You see these blackbucks here?  They are antelopes.  Antelopes are big, and you can’t fit them inside ant-hills.  But, ants are the tiny things that you see around the house, and some types of ants live in these ant-hills.

Correct, appa.  Antelopes cannot live in ant-houses.  Only ants live in ant-houses.

Ant-hills.

Sometimes you can also call antelopes ants.

Umm.

Can Surya live in ant-houses?

Which Surya?

appa, my favourite actor, you don’t even know this?

Oh, that Surya.  Why does he want to live in an ant-hill?

You said he is very small, no?  Remember, you said he only looks big on the computer, he is kuttikoondu.

He is not that small, kutti.

So he is big?

Not really.

appa, ayyo, you said he is not small, that means he is big, no? Silly appa.

He is medium-size.

oh? ok, he is medium-size.

Yes.

He is the best guy in the whole world.

What? I thought I was the best guy in the whole world.

Yes, but Surya is the very very best guy in the whole world.

And anna?

He and you are both best guy in the whole world.

And Surya is …

… the very very best guy in the whole world.

Thanks, that really takes some pressure off.

Enna sonna?

Nothing. If Surya is the very very best guy in the whole world, I really hope he can make you stop sucking on your thumb.  It looks like something the best guy in the whole world cannot do, but maybe the very very best can.

appa, you are so silly. (whispers)  Surya is not real, he is only real inside the Youtube.

Unholy smoke

Posted June 13, 2012 by deshvaasi
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags:

Chennai, I am really sick (literally) of smoke from the Pallikaranai dump every night.  Our mayor apparently blames it on rag-pickers.  Yes, indeed!  These rag-pickers must be going through some deep religious experience, because they have been burning the garbage dump like clockwork every night for the last two weeks .

But, it is a great excuse, no?  Feel the urge to work it into casual conversation.

‘You couldn’t even get me a card for my birthday? Have you become so tired of me already?’

‘Jesus, baby, what makes you say something like that?  I actually got you not one, but three cards.  Unfortunately…

‘Unfortunately?’

‘… the rag-pickers got a hold of them and burnt them.  You know it is their holy month, no?’

‘Oh, shit, I totally forgot.  They didn’t hurt you, no?  Three is so sweet of you, baby.  I love you so much and let’s live happily ever after’.

Ah, so sweet.

Where were we?  Smoke of the garbage kind, yes.  Nasty, choking crap that makes you feel like you live inside a psychedelic homa kundam and makes a restful night’s sleep a distant dream.  Every evening it floats into our campus which is probably a good few km away from the dump.  But, even here, it is enough to cause serious respiratory problems.  Two of us are already on Allegra-type things and soon the entire family will be on drugs because of this nonsense.  One can only imagine what it must be like for folks living right next to the dump.

And a couple of days back, this happened.  Probably, just to show how much worse it could be everyday, but isn’t.  The City tells us that this was an accident.  As a colleague of mine put it, what they meant was that the fire was business as usual, but it getting so big was an accident.

Just the callousness of the city in letting this go on for so long is hard to believe.  Of course, you will call me cynical if I point out that the city bigwigs all live far away from  here northwards.  Where they live, there are probably no garbage dumps.  Nor rag-pickers.  At the very least, no serial-arsonist-rag-pickers who will be able to set fire to things every single night for who knows how long.

SingarachChennai Vazhga!