Posted tagged ‘numerology’

Numerology

March 31, 2013

We heard the other day that someone named his son ‘AAAbhishek’ because he wants him to be first in everything, including the attendance register.

This is a dangerous precedent, no?  Opens the door to complete chaos.  Allow me to demonstrate.

I think if my son were in that kid’s class, I will legally change his name to AAAA, just to mess with this AAAbhishek’s father.

I will mess up the teachers too, because I will change only the spelling, not the pronunciation.

‘Okay, welcome to the first day of class.  Time for attendance.  What the heck?  The first guy is a battery?  Quadruple A?’

My son puts his hand up defiantly.  ‘No, ma’am, I am not a battery, although I do get that a lot.  It’s just written that way, my name is pronounced Pramath.’

‘But, …’

‘Yes, Ma’am, English is a funny language.  Surely, you know that, being our English teacher and all.’

Now, you know how competitive our schools are, no?  Very soon, the entire attendance register looks like a practice sheet for the letter A.

‘A’

‘Double A’

‘Triple A’

‘Quadruple A? What the heck kind of attendance register is this?’

‘A^5’

‘A^43’

Unfortunately, there is no option of saying anyone’s name anymore because of all the silent and hidden letters.

This numerology business is really blurring the lines between ignorance of the language and plain ignorance, no? I am not sure how some arbitrary rules ascribing arbitrary numerical values to letters dictate what happens to your life.  That is just plain ignorance, but now you have to start butchering names to make them fit your messed up scheme.

‘R-a-a-w-e-a-e? Wow, that’s a beautiful name, but I don’t think I have ever heard it before.  How do you say your name?’

‘Um, Ravi, okay?  Jerk! Never heard it before, my aaassssss!’.

And ‘shop’ has become ‘s-h-o-p-p-e-e’.  Now, what the heck is that all about? Shop-pee, come on, there has to be some limit.  Unless this is a urine bank or a urinal store where you can sample the goods, I don’t see a justification for this spelling.

One night, for whatever reason, we came across this song from Unnaipol Oruvan with Shruti Haasan and this guy B-l-a-a-z-e. After the whole Ravi thing, I thought it was numerology at work once again, and assumed that his real name is Balaji, but apparently …

… apparently, he really means it and wants to be called Blah-zay. Who woulda thunk, eh?